Ugh! Do we need to talk about The Danish Girl again?

Yes. Yes, we do.

I was chatting with a friend yesterday, and she sent me a Snapchat saying that she was about to watch The Danish Girl with a group of friends. Having seen the movie last year and being an avid naysayer of Tom Hooper's film, I replied with a vulgar summation of "Good luck, friends." Shortly after, she took to texting me, asking why I disliked it as much as I did. And I jumped in.

• The film essentializes the identity of Lili Elbe, reducing her to a stereotype
• Eddie Redmayne. Listen, everybody. I like Eddie. But here... no. He whispered far too much and he created this woman who appeared weak and vulnerable the whole time. 
• Speaking of, this is not all Redmayne's fault. Where is Lili's strength? Why is she this bizarre wallflower? Why do we seem to care more about her cisgendered wife?
• That ending. Do I really need to say more? I am so relieved that Lili's struggle can be personified through a scarf. Thanks, Tom Hooper.

The list goes on and on for me. Ask me what I liked about it, and I will tell you Alicia Vikander. But if we're talkin' awards for Miss Vikander, I will say Ex Machina and promptly move on. 

Bless you, Alicia... and that dog

I digress. After being asked this, my friend said that the group she watched it with completely disagreed with me and felt the exact opposite. Now I am not in the business of telling people how to think. In fact, while I can get on my high horse when it comes to what I think about movies and TV, I try to have an open mind. Who would I be if I was just spouting my opinions about the pop culture I indulge in? [insert joke about politicians and the state of the 2016 election here] But what fascinated me most was how our conversation developed into something way more fascinating than "I liked it" "Well, I didn't" and so on. 

Instead, my friend asked me what I felt about Eddie Redmayne playing a male-to-female (or MTF) transgender woman. She thought that it seemed insensitive to the portrayal, but then again, who was she to have that opinion. 

This got me thinking. When it comes to films, television, books... well, any type of media that we consume, where do we draw the line on our opinions? My friend, for example, stated that because she did not identify as trans, nor did she know anyone closely, could she say that the film was offensive? Could she say it was an honest portrayal? At first, I said yes. After all, the film was made for public consumption, free for critics (professional and bloggers alike) to pick apart at their earliest convenience. And hey! Carol Grant summarizes precisely why I think the film is far from progressive, and she is writing with years of experience as a trans woman. 

But then I got to wondering. It is SO easy for us to sit here and critique the media we consume on a daily basis. And that's good. I think we are responsible consumers to discern what is good, bad, and ugly. But at what point do we separate ourselves from the media we take in? And more importantly, when can we take a step back and say "that's not my place to say"? I don't think we will ever come to a wholesome conclusion here. 

In the case of my text conversation about The Danish Girl, it's a pity I couldn't be there in person and talk with this group extensively about the film. I want to hear what they liked about it, what they didn't like about it, and I could tell them why I found Eddie Redmayne to be as insufferable as he was. Some of my thoughts may have got lost in translation, I can never articulate myself well through texting, but to sum up: remain cognizant of the texts you indulge in, my friends. Truly think about what you are reading, watching, etc. And then don't be afraid to turn it on its head and embrace the conversation that will ensue. Trust your judgment, and jump right in.