Ushering in 2017 with Dread and Dismay (Joking Partially)

Happy belated new year, everybody! Time sure flies when you're trying to figure out your life, and you manage to have nothing figured out at the same time. Boy, doesn't it get exhausting to be caught in such existential dread?

In all actuality, I am reaching a point in my academic career where it feels like things are starting to wind down. I am in the middle of writing my thesis, and on top of that, I only have one class standing in the way of my Master's degree. When I write it down like that, it sure doesn't sound like a lot, does it? But in the meantime, I will sit here and ponder how quickly the future is sneaking up on me-- and I don't want to hear any of that "the future is now" garbage. Get out of here with that.

Looking back at what I have previously written, I hope you enjoyed my Best of 2016 Television. I love making lists, and so to compile a comprehensive list of some of my favorite TV was a joy for me. Truth be told, I would love nothing more than to write another post now about all the movies and performances from the past year that have left me awe-struck. I know many are saying the quality of cinema is diminishing, but I beg to differ. In a way, it kind of kept me going this year. All that said, be on the lookout for the "best in movies" post coming in the next month or so. I still have so much to catch up on, and with school and speech underway, I have found even less time to sit down with my watchlist and catch up on everything. But you best believe that extensive list has started to dwindle... but will it ever be complete?

So where does this leave me? Where are we? When I sit down and write a post, I like to be clear what it is I am doing. Now that I am no longer writing for the sake of a grade, I feel freer. What can I talk about with you. I suppose a great place to start is with a brief catch-up on my current 2017. When I am not writing here, what is it that I am doing with my life? Here is a list of what gets me up in the morning, what keeps me going.

• Watching movies/ television. Yes, I know this one is obvious. But there is still so much to see. 
• Thinking about the future. I will absolutely not write everything that I am aspiring for once I graduate, because I do not like being wrong about the future. But now has come the time for me to evaluate what I want to do with my life and what I can do. I'll try and keep you in the loop on this-- there is so much to think about.
• I recently got a part-time job at a local movie theater. Not only can I see free movies, but I can also immerse myself in a culture that I love so much. Orientation starts this week. 
• Grad student-ing. This entails coaching, going to class, reading, writing, and various meetings with different organizations and professors. I would like to say that I am super busy with all of this, but I also know this is not entirely the case. 

In short, I wanted this to be a post that lets you know, "YES! I am still thinking about all of you readers dearly. But... I also have a life." Okay, yeah, I'm joking there. But I am still trying to find this strange balance between work, school, social lives. So many intersections. So many crossroads. Britney would be proud. 

2016 in Review: Television Edition

This year was a mess. 

Go out and ask any person you know... or even those you don't know. And I am sure they will tell you that they wish 2016 would be over. What with the copious amounts of celebrity deaths and the results of the presidential election still stinging like a slap across the face, it is no surprise that we can collectively be over a year. And in my relatively short life, I have never seen so many people rally around a time to just MOVE ON. 

Yet, even in the midst of such political and social turmoil, I hope we can also agree that we were lucky in some respects. As someone who values and studies the pervasiveness of mediated texts, I am here to remind you all that the television and movies that we witnessed this year were nothing short of breathtaking. No, they cannot completely eliminate the pain we may have experienced. But I feel that we are not giving the proper respect media deserves from this year. 

Rather than sit here and wallow in the deaths and tragedies of this year, I want to celebrate the qualities of 2016 that deserve celebrating. During the next few weeks, I will be reviewing some of my favorites: television, movies, and perhaps even music. There is so much to be appreciative of from this past year, and they are worth mentioning. 

A Year in Television 

You read correctly! Today's post is dedicated to the best that television had to offer. It goes without saying that there is plenty I had not watched (I am still trying to catch up on The Americans), but that does not mean we were without greatness. So below, please enjoy, as I recap my favorite series, episodes, and performances from the 2016 television season. 

*Note! Although I watched the second season of Fargo this year, I still regard it as a 2015 work. Otherwise, it would have cracked my Top 5 favorite series, and Kirsten Dunst's delectable performance may have taken my #1 spot. Alas, we move forward. 

~ Best Television Performances ~ (Listed in alphabetical order)

 Julie Klausner & Billy Eichner, Difficult People

Okay, yes, I cheated a little bit here—fitting two performances into one spot. But if some arbitrary rule maker held a gun to my head and declared that I could only select either Klausner or Eichner, well… let’s just say that I’d leave with the greats in 2016. Because these two make Difficult People what it is: crass, crude, cynical, hilarious, and thoroughly engaging. Right from the get-go the series is about these two best friends, and immediately we can sense a shift in the cultural narrative surrounding tropes of the GBF (Gay Best Friend). Here, we are stripped of the off-putting stereotypes, of both the male and female characters fulfilling some role that we have seen played out tirelessly before. What we get is razor edged and witty, and both Klausner and Eichner are unafraid to make these characters—arguably just variations of themselves, their first names are their own after all—unlikeable and toxic. But what makes these performances so fresh and inviting is the fact that we need both of them in this world. They complement one another in all the right ways. Because however similar Julie and Billy may be (and you best believe they are kindred spirits), they are fundamentally different, difficult people. 2016 may have been rough, but watching these two squabble, bicker, and fail in becoming the famous comedians they feel destined to become is a diamond of comedy that I cannot wait to see more of.

            

Thandie Newton, Westworld

I will warn you now: you are not going to see Westworld on my Top 10 series of the year. While there is much to be admired in its first season, I ultimately found the whole ordeal to be more trouble than it was worth. But I find myself fortunate for having watched this polarizing first season, because I was able to watch the beauty of Thandie Newton’s performance unfold across the span of ten episodes. At first, you may think that Newton will get lost in the shuffle, because Westworld had assembled quite a cast and there was so much going on. But after a while, it’s clear—Newton’s Maeve was the heroine we needed in 2016. Playing a host (or in simpler terms, a robot in the Westworld universe), Maeve slowly begins to unhinge, realizing that she is just a cog in a machine. Not only can she recall memories from her life as the owner of a brothel, but also she can vaguely remember her former life in the park, where she was a mother to a child that was brutally murdered. Or was she? What is real? What is truth? And while I still cannot fully answer that based on what happens on Westworld, watching Maeve’s journey is a miracle that unfolds. Beginning as just another host in a world full of robots, she slowly comes to terms with humanity—both in and out of the park. She becomes cognizant of the evils, atrocities, and flaws of the human condition. And although she is not a human herself, watching her develop a keen sense of self is truly one of the most riveting portrayals of humanity this year.

Sarah Paulson, The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story

Taking a step back from the typical Ryan Murphy world of American Horror Story, Paulson sinks her teeth into the role of head prosecutor in the O.J. Simpson trial, Marcia Clark. There is plenty of speculation surrounding the Simpson trials. Did he kill Nicole Brown or not? Who do we believe in this media circus? And while that is up for us to decide, Clark's determination in finding Simpson guilty was harrowing and heartbreaking. As she battles sexism in the work place and in the media's eye, it is clear that there are multiple shades to this woman that we were perhaps not privy to in the midst of the trials. Public humiliation, shame, and mockery consumed Clark in the year of the trial. But Paulson's depiction of this woman is nothing short of a masterclass in acting. We do not see a woman cower behind the negative media attention. She is hurt and scorned, but she will fight until the final verdict. Paulson explores every single facet of this woman and her portrayal brings back the respect that Marcia Clark was denied in 1994. Need proof? Check out the episode titled "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia." I watched this mini-series during the summer, and I still cannot get this performance out of my head. 

Courtney B. Vance, The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story

Every bit Paulson's equal, Vance steps into the eyes of Johnnie Cochran head of the "Dream Team" for Simpson's defense. But whereas with Paulson's darker, quieter, more intimate qualities, Vance is larger-than-life, encapsulating the persona of a public figure-- one who is used to attention, one who constantly wants the spotlight on him. He is loud, brash, and controversial. But what makes Vance's performance especially beguiling lies in the mystery that hides behind his eyes. Where Paulson truly believes in Simpson's guilt, what does Johnnie Cochran actually believe? He will defend Simpson's innocence for the court and to the press... but does that reflect his inner turmoil? These questions carry long after the credits for the final episode rolls. And it's that question that haunts. Perhaps it haunted Cochran too. But Vance brings these layers and these doubts to a light boil over our own perceptions-- to the point that even we are questioning our convictions. 

Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag

She breaks the fourth wall on the regular. She lies. She sleeps around. She curses. She steals-- all with no remorse or guilt. Fleabag is the opposite of a heroine. And that is precisely what makes her so compelling. Waller-Bridge brings out all of the flaws of this leading lady, leading us to believe that she is a bad person-- bent on self-destruction. But is that really it? Is there more lurking beneath the surface. To give everything away would defeat the beauty in this performance, but needless to say, in a slight six episodes, Waller-Bridge takes us on a rollercoaster ride of hilarity and heartbreak. With a  single glance, she can send us into stitches... but at the same time, with that same glance, she can send us spiraling into doubt. What is the motive behind that look? She is alluring and delicate, and each layer she peels away reveals something so fascinating and so thought-provoking. I cannot wait to see what season 2 of this series has to offer. 

HM: Maria Bamford (Lady Dynamite), Rachel Bloom (Crazy Ex Girlfriend), Millie Bobby Brown (Stranger Things), Sterling K. Brown (The People v. O.J. Simpson & This Is Us), Micah Fowler (Speechless), Ilana Glazer & Abbi Jacobson (Broad City), Brian Tyree Henry (Atlanta), Judith Light (Transparent), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep), Mandy Moore (This Is Us), Sarah Jessica Parker & Thomas Haden Church (Divorce), Issae Rae (Insecure), Jeffrey Tambor (Transparent), Evan Rachel Wood (Westworld), and the entire ensemble of Orange is the New Black

~ Best Television Episode ~

"The Panic in Central Park": 5x06 in Girls

~ Ten Best Television Seasons of 2016 ~

10. Insecure (Season 1)

9. Veep (Season 5)

08. Broad City (Season 3)

07. Girls (Season 5)

06. Fleabag (Season 1)

05. Orange is the New Black (Season 4)

04. Transparent (Season 3)

03. Atlanta (Season 1)

02. The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story (Season 1)

01. Difficult People (Season 2)

HM: Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Divorce, Lady Dynamite, Speechless, Stranger Things, This Is Us

I had a blast compiling my list of favorites from this past year. So if ever you are feeling down about the year, focus on the positive, rather than the negative. With that, I turn it to you all! What are some of your favorites from this year? 

[Inspired Quotation About Achieving My Dreams Inserted Here]

I did it. I survived the Fall 2016 semester of graduate school. What this means is that I am ¾ done with my Master’s degree at Ball State University! I don’t even mean to sound corny, but time sure does fly, doesn’t it? It feels like a week ago that I made the decision to attend Ball State, and now here I am, one semester away from graduating. I would totally be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to get that diploma and see where the future takes me, but at the same time, it is all so nerve-wracking.

Suffice it to say, this semester has been good to me. In the independent study I worked on (that helped the beginning of this very blog), I received an A. Which felt gratifying. I had noticed that graduate school prioritized academic writing, which makes sense. After all, a lot of the work we do here is to help prepare us for potential PhD programs. But for the time being, I do not want to do that… like, at all. So my goals for this study were geared more to how I wrote and when I wrote. I do not consider myself much of a writer. But what I wanted to do was write in my voice. And to add to that, I also wanted to extend how I wrote. For instance, I had become accustomed to writing literature reviews, merely saying what former research can tell us. But here, for the sake of my own work, I wanted to blend this together. So that is why I chose a book to use, and then I would work from there, making claims from the readings. My posts were definitely not perfect, but I wanted to expand my thinking and writing. I think I did that.

Beyond that, I was excited to engage in texts that were predominantly queer. That’s why Queer Popular Culture worked so well for this semester. The scholars were able to just dive into texts and see what is different, or queer, about them. Sometimes these texts were about queer characters. But other times, it was finding what made these texts/ storylines/ characters queer. I loved it so much. And these weren’t just academic writings. They were grounded and written in a way that didn’t privilege scholars. Mind you, I can try and slog my way through dense academic articles, but there was something so chill about these readings. I underlined, annotated, and enjoyed this book thoroughly.

So where does this leave us, readers? All… like 2 of you? Perhaps I’m being idealistic and this blog will fall by the wayside, but I do not want that to happen. I’ve enjoyed carving out some time to write about things that pique my interests. So my goal is to contribute to this semester-long work and extend it beyond my schooling experience. I will add posts with lists, general thoughts, etc. For instance, I am already working on a piece that gives my ten favorite television series of 2016. There are a couple shows I need to catch up on, but I like my list so far. But I will also be busy! I just got accepted to do some freelance work with Film Inquiry, an alternative film magazine. Look out for my first post about the 2016 film Other People, slated for publication on December 21! I will link to that website, because it is truly awesome.

Since I made the decision to not go into my PhD, I’ve been scared and excited. Scared because… I don’t know what I am going to do with my life. It is daunting. But I am also excited. I like the idea of just living. Which sounds totally gay, I know. But there is something so intriguing about just going off and doing something with my life, that isn’t just school. It’s just not for me, not yet. Therefore, this blog will function as a place for my to talk about… well, everything. And I hope to write more about texts that are queer, or those that spark my interests. Basically, I am still figuring it out: my blog and my life. So stick around. We will see where life takes us.

Golden Globe Predictions

Yes, it is the most wonderful time of the year! If you are an obsessed cinephile, you know that now is the time to be working on your best of year lists and your predictions for the numerous awards bodies that will be announced throughout the Oscar season. I am no exception, and although I have normally been weak in predicting, I have decided to take another stab at one such awards body: the Golden Globes.

Nominations are tomorrow! Ah! I'm scared, excited, and ready. Plus, I have made predictions for every category. Find those below. And if there are any that you love or those that you highly disagree with, hit the comments below. I would love to hear your feedback!

BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA

Fences

Lion

Manchester by the Sea

Moonlight

Silence

BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY/MUSICAL

La La Land

Florence Foster Jenkins

Love & Friendship

Sing Street

20^th Century Women

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE – DRAMA

Amy Adams, Arrival

Taraji P. Henson, Hidden Figures

Isabelle Huppert, Elle  

Ruth Negga, Loving

Natalie Portman, Jackie

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE – DRAMA

Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea

Joel Edgerton, Loving

Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge

Tom Hanks, Sully

Denzel Washington, Fences

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE – COMEDY/MUSICAL

Kate Beckinsale, Love & Friendship

Annette Bening, 20^th Century Women

Sally Field, Hello, My Name is Doris

Emma Stone, La La Land

Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE – COMEDY/MUSICAL

Warren Beatty, Rules Don’t Apply

Ryan Gosling, La La Land

Hugh Grant, Florence Foster Jenkins

Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic

Ryan Reynolds, Deadpool

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Viola Davis, Fences

Greta Gerwig, 20^th Century Women

Naomie Harris, Moonlight

Nicole Kidman, Lion

Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Mahershala Ali, Moonlight

Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water

Lucas Hedges, Manchester by the Sea

Liam Neeson, Silence

Dev Patel, Lion

BEST DIRECTOR

Damien Chazelle, La La Land

Barry Jenkins, Moonlight

Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea

Martin Scorsese, Silence

Denzel Washington, Fences

BEST SCREENPLAY

Fences

La La Land

Lion

Manchester by the Sea

Moonlight

BEST ANIMATED FILM

Finding Dory

Kubo and the Two Strings

Moana

Trolls

Zootopia

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Elle

The Handmaiden

Julieta

The Salesman

Toni Erdmann

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Arrival

Jackie

La La Land

Lion

Moonlight

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

“Audition (The Fools Who Dream),” La La Land

“Can’t Stop the Feeling,” Trolls

“City of Stars,” La La Land

“How Far I’ll Go,” Moana

“Never Give Up,” Lion

BEST DRAMA SERIES

The Crown

Game of Thrones

Mr. Robot

Stranger Things

Westworld

BEST COMEDY SERIES
Atlanta

Divorce

Fleabag

Transparent

Veep

BEST TV MOVIE/LIMITED SERIES

American Crime

Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life

The Night Manager

The Night Of

The People v. O.J. Simpson

BEST LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES

Viola Davis, How to Get Away With Murder

Claire Foy, The Crown

Thandie Newton, Westworld

Winona Ryder, Stranger Things

Evan Rachel Wood, Westworld

BEST LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES

Sam Heughan, Outlander

Anthony Hopkins, Westworld

Rami Malek, Mr. Robot

Matt Smith, The Crown

Kiefer Sutherland, Designated Survivor

BEST LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES

Rebecca Bloom, Crazy Ex Girlfriend

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Sarah Jessica Parker, Divorce

Issa Rae, Insecure

Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag

BEST LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES

Anthony Anderson, Black-Ish

Thomas Haden Church, Divorce

Donald Glover, Atlanta

Nick Nolte, Graves

Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

BEST LEAD ACTRESS IN A TV MOVIE/LIMITED SERIES

Lauren Graham, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life

Riley Keough, The Girlfriend Experience

Sarah Paulson, The People v. O.J. Simpson

Kerry Washington, Confirmation

Lili Taylor, American Crime

BEST LEAD ACTOR IN A TV MOVIE/LIMITED SERIES

Riz Ahmed, The Night Of

Bryan Cranston, All the Way

Benedict Cumberbatch, The Abominable Bride

Tom Hiddleston, The Night Manager

Courtney B. Vance, The People v. O.J. Simpson

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A TV MOVIE/ SERIES/ LIMITED SERIES

Millie Bobby Brown, Stranger Things

Olivia Colman, The Night Manager

Judith Light, Transparent

Maura Tierney, The Affair

Constance Zimmer, UnREAL

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A TV MOVIE/ SERIES/ LIMITED SERIES

Sterling K. Brown, The People v. O.J. Simpson

Kit Harrington, Game of Thrones

Hugh Laurie, The Night Manager

John Lithgow, The Crown

John Travolta, The People v. O.J. Simpson

  

The Queer, The White-ish, The Trash

I remember growing up, I was at Target with my mom. I cannot specifically remember how old I was, but I had recently become attached to the idea of watching all the "great" movies of my time. Standing in front of the DVD aisle, I knew that I wanted to buy something, but I wasn't sure what. My eyes were drawn to a shiny, gold DVD cover-- one advertising Hilary Swank's Oscar winning performance in Boys Don't Cry. I was fascinated by it... for some reason. In my young teenage years, I didn't know what this movie was about, but it had the prestige of being an Oscar winner, so I took a chance and I bought it.

Needless to say, I was not ready for what I saw. I was young, I was naive, and I did not anticipate the gritty underbelly of Southern living from this film. The performances from the film's two leads were astonishing and I admired the soundtrack, but it was not until years later that I recognized its impacts-- beyond its filmmaking merit. For the reading I conducted from Queer Popular Culture, Daniel Mudie Cunningham dissects a facet of queer media: Queer White Trash Cinema.

I was instantly struck by this concept. What did it even mean? And what about "white trash" was queer. Fortunately, Cunningham lays the groundwork for his article by arguing, "Queer lends itself to white trash, and vice versa, because both categories decenter and destabilize, prompting constant flux" (p. 169). Additionally, queer begins to cross multiple spectrums and work through different landscapes; both metaphorically and literally. It is about crossing boundaries, making people feel uncomfortable, and finding one's identity in the process.

The analysis draws on the work of three films: My Own Private Idaho, Postcards from America, and Boys Don't Cry. Because I have only seen the latter film, I chose to really notice the trends from that. However, I noticed that the themes present in one film were central to all three. What drew me into this reading was the notion of fragments to help highlight one's broken identity. I am currently writing a term paper about Barry Jenkins' film Moonlight, and how it uses these fragments to help piece together one's identity. In a way, Cunningham's article works to do the same. And there is no better way to talk about it than how it is presented through the road.

The highway presents possibility. All three films chronicle a queer loner, traveling the path before them. This is a metaphor, sure, but it also depicts the opportunity of the future and an escape from an abusive, hateful past. This idea still sits with me as I am writing this post. And then it became meta the more I thought about it. Think about it: we oftentimes indulge in cinema or television as a means to escape from our own wicked lives. It's a technique that helps us relate to someone fictional and unreal, someone who simultaneously knows our pain, but will also never truly know. At the same time, we are watching films where characters also attempt to escape their broken past.

White trash works to problematize texts that feature predominantly "white" characters. It is messy and flawed, and rewarding. What I love is that Cunningham is quick to point out that we WANT to look away from the goings-on in these stories; they are grotesque and strange beyond belief. But perhaps watching will give us clarity. Perhaps we can learn from these portrayals. Maybe I did not know that when I picked up Boys Don't Cry. But I certainly do now. There can be something therapeutic in the mess of our lives.

Seeking Solace in a Troubled Time

I am not here to write about my political affiliations, nor am I here to create an echo chamber for those who want to discuss their political affiliations. Needless to say, results from the 2016 presidential election were disheartening for the United States. I will admit that I was a Hillary Clinton supporter, and when I woke up to find that Donald Trump had won the presidency... I was a wreck. I believed so much in the political process, that America would make the right decision. I voted absentee as early as I could. Clinton demolished Trump in every debate. I thought her victory was a slam-dunk, but more than that-- I needed her victory to be a slam-dunk. As a member of a disenfranchised group, a group that Trump and Mike Pence have both denounced on multiple occasions, I felt that so much of what my community had worked for in years past was for nothing. And scrolling through my Facebook and Twitter feeds, I knew that others felt the same way. I was disenchanted by everything.

That same day that I woke up to hear the sad, sad news was also the day that several people in my cohort and I were traveling to Philadelphia, PA for the National Communication Association conference. I will admit, I did not want to go. A bunch of academics under one roof, lamenting over the state of our country? Yeah... I'll pass. All this to say, I did go. And was pleasantly surprised. Because in my four days there, I uncovered a sense of rejuvenation I might not have before. This post is not so much about anything grounded in academia. Rather, I wanted to recount some ways that I battled my blues, the blues of our current state of U.S. government.

• The conference itself: I do not consider myself much of a scholar. I like what I study, I like talking about what I study. But at the end of the day, sitting down and writing for the sake of publication does not feel like my purpose in life. Now, I get it, there are some who are fit for that lifestyle and I greatly respect that. However, right now, I am not that person. Perhaps that is why I was apprehensive to take that ten hour road trip to a brand new state. I was surprised, though. In attending panels and seeing people speak so passionately about their areas of study, it was refreshing to be immersed in a culture that celebrated the written and spoken word. The people there were brilliant-- my friends included-- and I was astounded by what I saw. Here was a community that was not going to get down about our country. Instead, we were going to talk about it and fight for what was right. I think we all needed to be there at the same time, in order to work this out together.
• Christine: Of course, while in a city such as Philadelphia, I took advantage of the films playing there. When I wasn't shuffling from panel to panel, I took some time out of my schedule to go see some movies. Others find comfort in writing and talking. I find comfort in sitting in the theater and breathing in the life of a new world created by filmmakers. The first I saw was Antonio Campos' film Christine, which tells the story of 1970's news reporter Christine Chubbuck, who was led to insanity by the adage "if it bleeds, it leads." We watch as she circles the drain, eventually culminating into her own suicide on-air. The film itself was tight and taut, filled to the brim with delicious performances. But there is something we need to talk about, and I am sure I will give her a post all her own: Rebecca Hall. Filling into the role of Christine, Hall gives a performance worthy of study. Without knowing much about Chubbuck, everything I needed to know was imbued into Hall's performance-- with her slouched shoulders, watchful eyes, and constant grimace. I was mesmerized by her descent into madness, and even when she removes the gun from her lap and brings it to her head, I couldn't help but ache for the unspoken sanders she held. Hall portrays Christine as a woman who is consumed by her inner demons, and try as she might to escape them, to become the revolutionary television anchor she always hoped to be, she cannot escape who she is. It sounds pessimistic, and it is, yes. But it is in Hall's performance that I found beauty-- I was moved by this portrayal. It was something special, one of the finest in 2016 thus far. And it is in recognizing this that I found some glimmers of joy. 
• Arrival: The hype paid off. I have been a fan of Denis Villeneuve for some time now, and being able to slink away from this conference, sit in the cool dark theater and become engulfed in this story of communication and longing was the perfect way to end my weekend. Recruited to communicate with unknown beings that have come to twelve different locations on Earth, Dr. Louise Banks (Amy Adams) must find a way to bring together every inch of our humanity to reach a conclusion about how we communicate with those we consider different. Regardless how the presidential race turned out, this film could not have been released at a better time. And honestly, the less you know about the movie the better. It is beautifully paced and carries itself in stride, as it urges us to recognize the different facets and nuances of how we convey meaning across cultures. This film is so full of love and honesty-- that it is hard to believe that it is a work of science fiction. It may be an ode to classic sci-fi, but the story here is about us. It is about humanity and how we choose to live. I was transfixed for the entirety of the film and if you too are in disarray about the state of our country, please consider seeing Arrival. It may not completely liven up your spirits, but it can certainly help.

I'm still mad. I'm still sad. I'm still confused. But I also know that there is no choice but to move forward. As we continue to make sense of this troubled time ahead of us, I urge you to seek out ways to cope with what will inevitably change. Let's commiserate together, sure, but let's also look to the future and know that we are not alone.